This headcanon has received two stages of life:
The first occurred when Jason was wearing his gaudy purple blazer and Hannibal Chau glasses and I off-handedly said: You look like Hannibal Chau’s gay brother Murray.
The second developed this evening as Jamie and I puffed on cigars at a bar and speculated about Hannibal Chau’s smoking habits- because you know the man appreciates a fine cigar. Probably a custom blend ringed with his own seal in gold. And he puffs them dutifully, even though his ancient Jewish mother disapproves.
And then Murray.
Murray is Hannibal Chau’s little brother (who happens to be gay) who has failed at just about every business venture he’s set his hand to. His mother imperiously urges Hannibal (who she calls Ira) to hire his hapless brother for his “International Corporation”. Momma Chau has no idea her son is involved with the kaiju black market, all she knows is she has rent and season tickets to the Met for life and can brag to all of her girlfriends over majhong. Too many times Hannibal has been tempted to send her calls to voicemail, but knows better- including a poorly-timed one while he was wheeling and dealing with Newton Geiszler- who would probably be described my Momma Chau as “a nice boy”.
Oh. Also Murray is played by Tom Waits.
Because Tom Waits and Ron Perlman were separated at birth or something….
PSA for the Pacific Rim fandom: Don’t trust a word that comes from the Pacific Rim twitter/facebook page that links to PacificRim-Movie.net. They’re the social media arms of a Scified site that has no affiliation with Warner Brothers / Legendary but “happens” to have a legitimate-sounding name. Their Godzilla counterpart caused significant confusion in the months before the new movie with its wildly speculative or outright misleading headlines/tweets/posts. This context-free image posted last night looks to be more of the same.
I’ve been asked for some first-time clothes shopping tips for FTMs. Here is a very good passing guide, though it heavily favors guys with a certain body type: http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/ Still, if you’re looking for logistical tips and tricks, check it out.
That aside, here is a little collection of my own personal epiphanies:
1) Learn how men’s clothing works and what looks good for your body type. This sounds glib, but men’s clothing tends to fit very differently than women’s, plus you have a whole host of new measurements to learn (neck size, inseam, etc.). Learn your true measurements (have a friend measure you) and don’t give in to wishful thinking; chances are, it’ll make you look like a kid playing dressup.
Theres lots of sartorical websites out there dedicated to teaching how men’s clothing should fit, what to look for, etc. In general, a tailored fit is going to help you pass more than baggy clothing. Tailored != skinny; it means clothing that is flattering to your body type.
2) Expect to get it wrong. A lot. I’m still figuring out what does and does not work on me, and tend to shop at inexpensive places like Old Navy, Kohl’s, H&M, and yes, Goodwill.
While not as bad as women’s clothing, men’s sizes vary WILDLY across brands, styles, and even materials (fun fact — men’s waist sizes are usually unrealistic — thank marketers for this — so your measurements from #1 are going to be guidelines in a LOT of trial and error).
Shop in person as much as possible to ensure a good fit; most people don’t give a second glance at presumed females shopping in the men’s department because they assume you’re shopping for a relative/partner. Take advantage of this.
3) Passing guides are passing guides and focus more on social expectations of gender norms, rather than your own self-expression.
For example, I’ll be the first to say that a completely buzzed head is almost always going to contribute to getting you misgendered, because it draws attention to how much rounder our skull shape tends to be compared to cisgendered men. BUT. If a buzzed head is something you really, REALLY want, then maybe that need is more important than ticking off that particular box in your passing checklist.
4) There really isn’t a silver-bullet, “one simple trick” to passing. Passing is a collection of many, MANY gender signifiers, everything from what your body looks like, to how you walk/talk, to what you wear.
Do what you can with what you have and try not to be too hard on yourself. For every dysphoric trait you have, chances are, many cisgendered men share it. That being said, I fully understand that dysphoria is seldom rational (For example, I have a small bust, but still dress in multiple layers because of massive chest dysphoria. But I also try not to get too hung up on the fact that my personal style is heavily influenced by said dysphoria. Because I *like* being a tweedy professor, dammit.).
5) If medical transition is in your future, you are going to have to replace a good chunk of your wardrobe, so hold off on expensive purchases.
Also, if you’ve been hesitant to adopt certain styles because you’re afraid of being misgendered, take heart — once your body and face start to change shape, you’ll be able to get away with a *lot* of looks that would have previously worked against you.
6) Buy clothing that makes you feel good. But also be sure that you’re buying clothing because it looks good on *you* and not just the model. This is an insidious little behavior I’ve noticed in myself, which causes me to buy clothing I don’t need and/or fits poorly because of dysphoria.
7) Don’t wear pleated pants. Just don’t.
- Pulled a muscle trying to grab lube from the nightstand but not get off of the bed.
- Itch break
- Pet meanders onto the bed in media res.
- Animal petting break.
- Partner drums on other partner’s butt and starts singing the Banana Boat Song.
- Someone has an awful angle or drunk so the other person has to guide the dick in.
- The animal has begun staring at you. You stop, spooked, to contemplate if it’s judging you and your lovemaking skills.
- Hair spitting break.
- Someone farts or burps. Bonus points for queefs.
- Charlie horse break.
- "I’m sorry, I can’t concentrate. Someone is wrong on the internet."
Both partners solemnly agreeing that it’s too late for sexy times and they should both really get some sleep because they have to be up early for work in the morning.
It depends a lot on the area and the con. Weekend passes run $50 for Readercon in Boston, $60 for Animazement in Raleigh, $40 for Illogicon in Raleigh, $40 for Philcon in Phila, $50 for CapClave in DC. In line, but higher than average.
and normally cons in california range anywhere from 55-75 to three day’ers and 45/55 for single day passes so yeah it’s reasonable for me
True. I was just going to check MegaCon’s badge prices (since they get a few Big Guests every year), but they don’t have any information on their site beyond “$35-$250” because badges aren’t on sale yet. I bet so-i-did-this-thing would be able to say averages on that. The cons I mentioned, save AZ, have a lot of or mostly SF writer guests, not actors, and AZ brings both Japanese guests (creators & voice actors) and US guests (mostly voice actors, some industry).
(Note: I’m not including DragonCon in this comparison because the scale is so different. DC gets dozens of actors plus writers and scientists and musicians and and and, and there are 60k attendees, so their 1-year-ahead price of $75 and door price of $150+ is really not comparable to a con with a handful of actors and a thousand attendees.)
For weekend passes: Megacon’s early bird is $83, while Metrocon’s is $70. Mega is multi-genre (purports 80k in attendance, but I am deeply skeptical as this greatly eclipses Dragoncon’s numbers), but with a strong anime presence. Metro bills itself as an anime con (over 10k attend).
I don’t see see sub-$40 weekend conventions any more. I’m pondering going to Spooky Empires (Orlando horror con) and that’s a $50 pre-reg ticket price. I went to a pinball machine convention a few years ago that was mainly just tourneys and exhibitions, and that was $45.
And just for fun, if you want to see really high ticket prices, professional conventions are the place to go. For example, SXSW, while a 1-2 week event, has badges that work out to costing $90+/day. Smashing Con, a web development conference, is $500 for 2 days of single-track programming. If you want to attend a workshop, it’s another $480. I’m sure other professions have their own conferences with extremely high prices.
An early announcement, but I will have a variety of pride and pronoun buttons like these with me (for free til they last) at Shatterdome Atlanta. It fits in nicely with our LGBTQ charity for 2015.
Learn more about the charity event here, and please consider donating and/or coming to Shatterdome Atlanta to bid at the silent auction or buy some awesome art cards!